how does it feel … to be without a home … a complete unknown … like a rolling stone ???


“You realize the sun don’t go down … it’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round”
September 30, 2008, 6:40 am
Filed under: Mozambique, Tanzania | Tags: , , , , ,

i am going to try to cover some of the more unique experiences in less text than they deserve … readdddy … go …

mtwara … little city in the corner of tanzania … ramadan is in full swing on the swahili coast, so lots of people not eating during the day … i took a long walk in the late afternoon trying to find the sea … ended up at a little harbour hanging out with local fisherman … does fishing with a net seem somewhat like genocide to you ??? … very cool place … the people are kind, but shy … so i can walk around without having people yell at me constantly … only smiles and happy greetings … so nice … anyway …

i am walking back to the guest house as the sun is going down … sunsets in the place are beyond description … suffice to say … the moon is vibrant and silver and rests, without competition, in a sea of pale blue … the pink surrounds you in 360 degrees and what clouds exist are dark on top, with whisps of gold fire swirling off of them … the gold, pink and blue combine with the dusty colour of the ground to make the world around literally glow … the outlines of the palm trees, some 15m tall, stand out black in sharp contrast to the glowing sky beyond … an endless stream of bicycles whizz past, broken by women dressed in the vibrancy of african colours laughing with women dressed in conservative muslim black … children play in the trees, in the dirt and zip across the road … the birds sing, cars pass blaring ‘bongo flava’ (swahili hip-hop), and the soft cry of the call to prayer rings out … wow …

anyway … so lots of the people don’t eat until after dark … so sometimes it is hard to find a place to eat … so i head out after dark to get some food … but the region is remote, so it is hard to find english speakers … i ask the lady at the guest house … she says ’stage’ … this sounds kind of strange … the bus stage usually has kids selling snacks, and i know there are stands selling chips mayei … but they are not a place for real meals … i am skeptical … but head on …

i find some men sitting on benches by the roadside eating … something … they invite me to join them … i say ‘ninakwena wali and nyama’ (i am looking for rice and meat’) … they say … ’stage’ …

bus stages all over africa are the same … they buzz with activity all day, as busses come and go … kids run from bus to bus, selling local food, water and candy through the windows … they are usually surrounded by shops selling pirated music, quick meals and simple hardware, electronics, etc … not really a place for meals … during the day …

i round the corner and am BLOWN away … the whole stage is JAMMED full of people … they are sitting everywhere … on benches in rows and in ciricles, on the curbs and on the ground … and EVERYONE is eating, as hundreds of candles illuminate the square and the music that blares out of local shops all day sets the perfect soundtrack for the little festival …

i do my old ‘look like a confused white guy’ routine until somebody offers help … and of course they do … and i am soon holding a steaming plate piled high with some kind of mystery meat (i think it was sheep stomach), and cooked banana in a thick g-nut sauce … sooooooo good !!! … it’s amazing the power of food to bring people together … i shared a meal with people who i did not share a language with … for 10 minutes we laughed and joked and smiled … and didn’t understand a word …

every night, mtwara comes together after dark and celebrates … they share food and laughs … music and drinks … they cook over open fires and sit on the ground … who thinks our way of life is better ???

the next morning i was up at 4:30 … and on the back of a pickup truck by 5:00 … i was in the back of the truck … along with 13 other people … and our luggage … tearing at high speed over dirt tracks through the forest as the sun began to light up the sky and the people of tanzania came to life for another day … not really comfortable … but it was only an hour … so who can complain …

tanzania immigration was easy … and then we all reboarded our little truck and headed to the mighty river … only now it is dry season … so it was not so much mighty as muddy … we loaded up a boat and got about 15 feet out before the boat bottomed out … one by one, the guys started to take off their shoes and pants, hop in the croc infested water, and push … one by one until it was my turn … and so … i was soon in the croc infested water … pushing a boat full of smuggled used clothing across the fronteir into remote northern mozambique …

after 15 minutes or so, we found the deep spot and let the prop do the rest of the work … it was a lazy 30 minutes as we sailed past flamigoes and pods/herds/??? of hippos … the other side, the calmness of southern tanzania faded like a candle being blown out and the insanity of northern mozambique descendced … people rushed the boat and started shouting and grabbing everything they could … before i really even knew what was happening, i was in the back of a medium sized suv, bouncing hard over the rutted roads of the north …

eventually we came to a series of shacks in the bush which i was told were immigration … its always a little unnerving being escorted by a big black guy with an ak-47 into a tiny room in a wooden shack in the middle of nowhere … it’s even more unnerving when the guy in the room, an older man dressed from head to foot in olive green, with huge coke-bottle glasses … takes off those glasses and asks me, with a highly unimpressed look … “why have you not paid the tax?  don’t you know there is a tax?” …

it’s really not as intimidating as it sounds … did you know the mozambique flag has an AK-47 on it ??? … i didn’t … interesting thing to put on a flag … after about an hour of sorting out all the paperwork and appologizing for not paying the ‘tax’ … i was back in the SUV … a little smaller than a suburban … with 13 other people … plus 2 hanging off the back … and 3 more on the roof … tearing through the forrest again … only faster this time …

i have been more comfortable … but the rest stops were unbeatable … eating handfulls of fresh cashews for pennies and drinking/eating coconuts fresh off the tree … life could be worse …

the next … oh … 12 hours or so, are much less interesting … i travelled … watching mozambique pass by the windows … or sitting for 1 hour of africa time (3 hours by your watch) waiting for a ride at a little nothing of a town called mocimboa de pria … i finally arrived at my destination around 10:30pm … wierd place called pemba … it’s poor … really, really poor … a few years ago, mozambique was the poorest in the world … victims of famine and civil war … now those problems are gone … and they are just poor … BUT … there is a huge 5-star resort, and a flawless stretch of highway, complete with street lights, connecting that resort to the airport … strange place, this world of ours …

i am staying at the only place for less than $30/night in town … camping at russel’s place … russel is an aussie … there are LOTS of white people here … you can always spot them … they are the ones driving the cars past the locals … who don’t have shoes … lots of canadians … they just found oil and uranium … mozambique is on the verge of a boom … lots of people getting their fingers in …

there is a HUGE ministry operating here … called Iris … apparently the founders are something of celebs in the christian world … they have planted 7000 churches within the countries of south africa … i have met with their director (a canadian) a couple times, and am going to head to a little community with him in the next hour … so much foreign investment ignores the needs of rural africans … in the most rural continent on the planet, this seems a little stupid …

i want to understand, as much as possible, the system they use to give birth to fully functioning rural ministries … i feel that if the same system can be applied to education in rural economic development, health and sanitation education, HIV awareness, etc … then maybe … who knows …

so that’s what i am up to … pemba is like paradise … endless miles of white sand beaches, bright sunlight and cool ocean breezes … evenings are my favorite time to walk down the beach … which is almost all public, so you can just walk and walk … children, some ass naked, play in the surf … every 100m there is another soccer game in full swing, only feet from the surging waves … on the road that runs along the beach, people hang out dressed in their best and sip beer as they flirt and laugh … and music, a crazy mix of african tradtion, swahili hip-hop, carribean ragga and latin salsa, pounds out from the stage built right on the beach, from the speakers of passing cars, or out the doors of the nearby discos … it’s like a festival … only every week of the year …

too bad they are so poor … such friendly folks … willing to trade anything for the shirt off your back … which i have done … and i will let you guess what i traded for ;-)

peace and love from pemba …



‘choose not the path of least resistance’ or ‘god grant me the serentiy’
September 25, 2008, 12:54 am
Filed under: Tanzania | Tags: , , , ,

so i am a quitter …

i quit … and i hate quitting … quitters never win … winners never quit …

i was not beaten by the bike … stevie phoe-nix … horrid b***h that she was … she never ‘broke’ … but everyday something else would cease to function properly … by the end … the brakes were completely useless, the front tire was screwed up, the chain was rubbing on the chain guard, the back tire was rubbing on the fender and the pedal was rubbing on the i-dont-know-what-to-call-it … lots of rubbing … slowing me down … pain in the ass … did not beat me …

i was not beat by the hills … the hills were great on a heavy ass one speed bike with a 30kg pack strapped to the back … the hills were victories … i pumped and pumped and swore and screamed and growled and counted strokes and repeated ‘winners … never … quit’ and ‘i … am … strong’ and god knows what else … and i won and i won and i won … again and again i beat exhaustion and fear and doubt and pain and pushed myself until the limit … i beat the hills … the hills were the best part …

i was beaten, though … in the end … i was beaten by the sun …roasting, scorching, life sucking, soul killing heat … the mornings were sheer joy … gliding up and down the hills of africa in the early pre and post dawn … watching africa wake up … singing and whistling and smiling uncontrollably as i cruised … all was great …

until about 9:30 … then it got hot … drinking a litre of water an hour … i could not stay cool … pushing myself to exhaustion and still being forced to push the bike up hill after hill as the equatorial sun literally cooked the back of my neck …

and there was no rest … it is dry season … the bushes and trees are leafless … so there is no shade … the gress is dry and the soil is hard … so there is no laying down … only sweltering heat … swelting heat and a never ending stream of hills …

yesterday i came to a villiage around noon … the first i had seen in 3 hours … i had travelled about 60km already that morning … i stopped for a cold soda and asked for anyone who could speak english … there was nobody …

i managed to get directions to a guest house using a little kiswahili … my day was finished and i just needed to lie down … but the directions were terrible … so after standing in one place for 5 minutes, surrounded by 20 kids staring at me, trying to decide where to go … i went back …while i was gone, someone had found an english speaker …

he informed me that the nearest guesthouse was, in fact, 25 MILES ahead or 30 km back … i was exhausted … i was hot … without even thinking i said ‘will anyone here buy my bike?’ … i was offered 65,000 shillings … i paid 120,000 2 weeks earlier … i said sold … within an hour i was on a bus and within 3 hours i was in lindi … whch had previously been 3 days away …

i quit … i hate quitting … but i think it was the right thing to do … there is this concept of foolish pride which i think i am severely lacking an understanding of … i have been humbled by the african sun …

either way … as i now have much more time … i now have northern mozambique available to me again … so that is where i am going … tomorrow or the day after i begin the 12 hour border crossing which i am told involves a trip in a dugout canoe and a 3 hour ride through a forrest in the back of a pick-up … should be fun …

peace and love …

p.s. … today i saw on a tv that bush is trying to strong arm congress away from debate … even mccain is getting in on things, postponing a campaign and incubating an atmosphere of crisis and impending doom …

patriot act anyone ??? …

 i hear the bailout will give the wealthiest americans $10,000/household of taxpayer money at an incredble bargain … probally better they don’t talk about it … i hear rubber stamps are much more effecient …



the ants came marching 8 by 8 … hurrah …. hurrah (whats with the hurrahs???)
September 24, 2008, 6:07 am
Filed under: Tanzania | Tags: , , ,

i only have 7.5 minutes to post this … so i will hurry …

i am in this place called Kilwa … there is some billion year old mosque or some nonsense just off the coast that costs $80 to visit … so i am pretty much just haning out before getting back on the bike to head to lindi …

when i came, i set up my tent beside a tree … i should have stayed in the guest house nearby … but i was being difficult … so tree it was …

i found a nice flat spot and saw some ants on the tree i was going to strap my stuff too … so, like the bratty child i am … i kicked the tree … i have been doing this since i was a kid … watching those ants scurry is always fun …

such a bad decision …

over the next 24 hours … the ants decided that they didn’t like me so much … every time i came to my tent … i had to give it a good shake to get them off the outside … curious little guys …

by yesterday afternoon … they had taken over the ground directly in front of my tent and began crawling up my legs by the dozens every time i tried to enter … now i was having a bad day … i was hot and filthy but couldnt shower … i was frustrated with myself and the world and just … having a bad day … so after putting up with ants all day … i snapped … and i started killing ants …

i am a very peaceful person … and i don’t kill animals … i just don’t see it as necessary … ever hear a dog (or person) yelp out in pain ??? .. .why would anybody want to do that to another living being … may all beings be happy says the buddha … i feel guilty about all the animals that have died in pain so that i could eat …

but i snapped … and with my mighty blue flip-flops started squashing with abandon …

such a bad decision …

the next time i came to my tent … they had given up with the exploration … they sent the soldiers after me … and they bit … dozens at a time swarming on my legs and feet biting without discrimination …

so i was miserable before … now i was really happy … i ran all over the campsite trying to escape, but everytime i stopped to gather my thoughts … more were crawling up my legs … the whole area seems to be infested … the ground on the roads is literally MOVING for as much as 10 meters at a time …

************ (not bad for 7 minutees … now 2 days later) *****************

i was very disturbed … so stormed off to find some ‘raid’ or similar death machine to make those ants pay for having the audacity to mess with me … half way there i decided i really didn’t want to kill the ants … my karma is worth more than that … and, really, i had invaded their territory and kicked their tree …

so i moved … it took courage to face animals a thousandth as big as i am … but what i can say … i am courageous … so i emptied the tent of the heavier bits … picked it up and moved it 15 feet away to an ant-free zone … my quality of life has never before improved with such swiftness …

the end

now i am in lindi … and i am a quitter … but will save that for the next one …



“My witness is the empty sky”
September 20, 2008, 9:47 am
Filed under: Tanzania | Tags: , , ,

ok … i am much calmer now …

i have gotta stop doing half posts and then running out of time …i was once told i am ‘too verbose’ … seems true … this was a few days ago …

……………………………

so STILL in dar … still sitting on the beach … my plan when i got here was to take a ferry to mtwara and then cross into mozambique by canoe … that fell apart …

then my plan was to take a bus to mtwara … then i was sick of busses …

then my plan was to buy a bike and bike to mtwara and then down the coast of mozambique … then i learned about a music festival in malawi on the 10th of october that i really want to go to … and it wouldn’t leave me time to get there … so that fell apart …

so then i was going to bike straight south to mtwara and then along the southern border to catch a ferry across into malawi … but then some people i have been spending much time with said they were taking a train to a place called njombe, a few hours from the ferry crossing into malawi …

so now i don’t know what to do … i have my bike … it has been fixed up and had all the soft spots reinforced … but i am hesitantly ready to go … sitting on the beach is easy … and between the camp-staff, who inspire me and help me constantly, the western kids, the oxford kids, the cool old british lady who has lived the most astounding life, the zim bar owner who offered me a place to live, the belgian bar-man, the cute german girls and the crew of us/uk/nz volunteers who just bought a house … i dunno … the people i meet in this place challenge and entertain me to no end …

but i hate dar … in a very affectionate way … it has crawled under my skin and stolen a piece of my heart … huge, empty billboards tower over the harbour like a symbol of the promise that barely isn’t … holes in the ground reveal 3 feet of plastic bags and rubbish … the accumulated waste of years … i wonder at the implication of building a future on a foundation of garbage … people constantly rush and push and shove to get their first, but once there, consider time irrelevant and saunter casually about … i have been swindled and robbed and very nearly conned of a lot of money by conmen … but i have met some of the most helpful, selfless people i have ever known … it is bloody hot, but the heat punctuates the cool ocean breezes, making them just that much more welcome … and the food … is the most yummily disgusting stuff i have ever seen … there is nothing like dunking your spoon into the red broth and having it emerge with a complete fish head on it … except that it’s the best tasting fish head you have ever eaten … and chips mayei … fries that have been sitting in the sun all day cooked in 2 eggs and served with tomatos, onions, ketchup (sort of) and chilli sauce … sounds gross … it is … tastes like heaven on a plate, or in a plastic bag

……………………………….

ok … that was a few days ago … i am now ON the road … set out yesterday after finishing The Holy Qur-an … good book … reccomended if you want to be convinced that you are going to spend eternity burning in the eternal fires of hell … for verily Allah knows all that you do …

my only goal yesterday was to get out of dar … took 3 hours … and far from the cool ocean breezes, i was friggin hot by the time i got there … so i settled into the first hotel i found and had a nap …

today i got started much earlier and put a few hours behind me before i met some oil executives at an ‘internet cafe’ that had neither a cafe or the internet … but did have spanish omlettes to die for … they offered me a ride to Kilwa in their air conditioned land cruiser … and i am weak …

good thing though really … there was one patch of road … about 60km worth … that would have been miserable … nothing like biking through 6 inch deep dust and sand … for 2 days …

its great to be back on the road though … the road is like … to be continued … i am almost out of time … peace and love …



‘i am invinicible … as long as i’m alive’
September 15, 2008, 4:20 am
Filed under: Tanzania | Tags: , ,

confession: i am self-centered … but then … so are you …

since i seem to be excelling at inflammatory posts right now … i may as well get this off my chest … (i can hear a few of you cringing) … though really i am just re-packaging the same crap i have been saying for months … but then … you probablly aren’t paying attention anyway … so maybe a little repetition is a good thing …

there are a whole lot of people suffering in the world right now … a WHOLE lot … and the odds that you are among them are slim … it’s possible, i suppose … if you have no money in your pocket right now … no shoes on your feet … no home to go home to … it’s possible that you are not in the bottom 50% of our world’s population … but i doubt you, reading this, are that person …

you probably have a house, or at least an apartment … clothes (lots of them) … computers, televisions and all manner of pretty, shiny distractions … your greatest food dilenma is where to eat and what to buy … you know it’s not like that for most people right ??? …

here is the thing though … all those people suffering … that’s my fault … mine … me … 100% of the blame lies on my shoulders …

and the same way it’s my fault … also yours … you … yours … say this out loud … ‘a billion people are starving and it is my fault’ …

seriously … say it under your breath … no one will hear to think you are crazy … cuz god forbid they should think you are crazy … ‘a billion people are starving and it is my fault’

“[gasp] … clearly these words on the screen can’t be serious … who do they think they are slinging such accusations … i GIVE TO CHARITY … what an outrage”

that’s great … if you do give … your time, your money, yourself … every little bit counts …

want to ACTUALLY contribute to a better world, instead of your own conscience ??? … how’s this … change your lifestyle … 

buy less crap, pay more for what you buy …

‘but fair trade is twice the price’ … so true … and nobody who harvests the beans is DYING right now … your call … i suppose you really can’t bear to spend that extra $2.00 … you do need those new  jeans so that people will like you more … and your laptop is already a year old, so it’s time to start looking for a new one … can’t appear poor and behind the times … what will people think …

here is it i guess … i care more about what people think of me than i do about the good of my brothers and sisters who live and die in poverty … i do … me … brandon … that’s a confession …

and i bet you do to …

so let’s change … you and i … if a word on a screen can change … certainly you can … say it with me … ‘i can change the way i live so that more other people can live too’ …

very good … you big SCHIZO … talking to yourself … raving lunatic … that’s what you are :-)

so please … stop buying crap you don’t need … it won’t make you happy … it really won’t … and if people don’t like you … they are not going to like you more because you have an ipod … the solutions to your insecurities lie within … by seeking refuge in consumerism you are helping only the wealthy to get wealthier and broaden their exploitation of the weak in the name of profits …

you can break the cycle … and so can i … if you stop paying it …

so do it today … buy organic, buy fair trade, buy locally, don’t support corporations who are a**holes, spend more on less, don’t drive so much, refuse plastic bags, drink water from the tap … it’s not hard … it just requires you to consume less … coz the world can’t hold the obesity of the western lifestyle … we are like a fat person on a bus … taking up all the space … god i’m preachy …  

buying things does not make you happy … saving lives probably does though … oh … and so does walking …

still in dar … been at my $5.00/night beach front for a bit over a week … i keep planning to leave, but meet incredible people who talk me into doing other things … visited a project for blind street kids and an alternative primary school for underpriviledged kids … also found a children’s outreach home that i hope to support in the long term … all very cool and very enlightening …

i was planning to take a bus through malawi to maputo and then fly to ghana for christmas … now i have bought a crappy chinese bike and am going to ride it to maputo … should take a lot longer … but it will immerse me in the rural africa i love so much …

i was going to head down the coast and then across to malawi, but there is a big music festival on lake malawi in october and i know the owner of a nearby hotel, so i think i will head there first and move into mozambique by ferry in mid november …

should be fun … and also utterly miserable and painful …

i love adventure …

peace and love …